


Staticky Silence

by doubleknot



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Gen, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Self-Destruction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 00:54:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14759516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doubleknot/pseuds/doubleknot
Summary: He's only interested in staring at bland white walls nowadays.ORThe one where Jeongin is depressed.





	Staticky Silence

**Author's Note:**

> I'm self projecting again :) so this is a huge mess.

it's silent and dark in Jeongin's room, that's all it has been recently, with the exception his own breathing and of the setting sun peeking in through the gap of his curtains. he's laying on his bed, blanket pulled tightly around him, and just staring at his wall. his wall isn't that interesting, it's pretty bare besides a small bulletin board that holds a few polaroid pictures on it. he doesn't really care if it's interesting or not because his dull eyes never leave it. he just stares and stares until he spaces out, his mind stuck in some in between of being blank and racing at the same time. 

his phone ' _dings_ ' from it's spot in front of him on his bed but he doesn't bother to check it even though it has brought him out of his own head. there's no point in it because he knows it's probably one of his friends asking him to come out with them. he hasn't gone to hang out with anyone in a while; he's even stopped going with his mom to the store every weekend so he never really leaves the house. he thinks he gets enough social interaction at school even though he only talks to his friends at lunch and in study hall and that's it. he can't handle any social interaction plus he doesn't see the need for it anyways because he's fine with being on his own. 

it ' _dings_ ' once more and then again and again and again. he grabs it and slowly drags his nail, one that is hardly there because he's bit at all of his nails, along the small space that's between the phone and the back piece before taking the battery out. he isn't using it anyways so there's no point in letting the battery drain from all those notifications that he isn't going to check. he sighs softly as he sets the battery and the now powerless device back where it was. maybe he should just take a nap.

taking naps and staring at walls have become his hobbies. he takes a lot of naps. some naps that only last for ten to thirty minutes. other naps last for six to eight hours. he always wakes up feeling more tired than he did before he fell asleep but that never stops him.

staring at walls has become an everyday thing like the naps have. the fading white paint on his walls is bland and dull but it holds what little interest he has left in his body. he's only interested in staring at bland white walls nowadays. the wall staring doesn't work as well for him as the naps though. they're not the distraction that he craves for. 

they allow him to think and be alone with his thoughts and he hates it. he hates how his thoughts race and they're so fast that he can't catch up with them. he just thinks and thinks and thinks until it sends him spiraling. his thinking almost always ends with him curled in on himself as he gasps, between his sobs, for air, trying to figure out how his lungs work again. wall staring allows him to think so he takes naps more than he does stare at walls.

since staring at the nothingness that is his white walls is the only thing that holds his interest it leaves him with next to no motivation for anything. leaving his bed every week day morning almost takes all the motivation he has out of him so he has to force himself to pay attention during his classes. once he comes home from school he goes start to his room and naps. he sleeps all the way through dinner and gets up only if he has to take a shower, sometimes it takes him a week before he forces himself to do that, or if he has homework. he does this every single day of the week and on the weekends he doesn't even leave his room, let alone his bed.

to go along with his lack of motivation he has simply stopped caring about things that are an everyday necessity for him. he doesn't remember the last time that he actually ate breakfast or lunch; he only eats dinner nowadays and even then he doesn't always eat that, he just isn't hungry anymore. it takes him days if not a whole week and a half for him or his mother to force him to take a shower. he doesn't remember the last time he properly brushed his hair or took a tooth brush to his teeth. these things have become pointless nothings to him because he, himself, is nothing. 

the teen is brought out of his whirlwind of thoughts whenever he hears his mother call him to come down for dinner. he ignores the call and just pulls his blanket tighter around his body. his name is called once more but he just squeezes his eyes shut and pulls the blanket closer. maybe, just maybe if he pulls it around himself tight enough it will help him feel whole again instead of some empty, hollow shell of what he use to be. he never finds out if it's possible though because he falls asleep like he always does after his mother finally stops calling him; he'll just continue to be this hollow thing that he has become. 


End file.
